Since I have already graduated, the clock is ticking for my CS website. Before I lose my free hosting, I thought I'd share a .NET 2.0 Windows Explorer centralized file integrity shell extension. While this is not an essential application, many may find it useful. The source is included under GPL.
read more | digg story
Decided to put the SFI app on Digg to see what kind of response I'd get. Don't want to have any expectations, but it's all very exciting!
-Sounding like a dork.
This is almost exactly how I feel right now.
From bash.org
#414593 +(11840)- [X]
DragonflyBlade21:
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in
her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend.
This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that
way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and
the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we
are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your
resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to
hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he
doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will
never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the
person that we hired.
The people I've met and the friendships taken for granted during the past few years have gradually given me some of the courage I need to live; to look straight at reality and not be afraid. But once again loneliness engulfs me, leaving me so helpless and vulnerable to the mere basics of being alive.
Everyone has weaknesses, and everyone faces these challenges. But it is so easy for some of us to fail. Especially a weak one like me; whose entire lame excuse for consciousness is driven by poor attempts at logic. I enjoy having some grasp on reality, but when one falls in the middle of it, it's not a pretty sight. And, I've fallen in way over my head.
The addictiveness of these feelings has broken me. As my mind unravels, with my experiences and logic failing to apply, I become a monster of compulsion unable to control personal bias and emotion. My true colors rear its head as an angry and jealous asshole. I am evil without my will and I fear the devil inside. However, I am hopeful that this time I will not lose myself and forget the person that I've always strived to be - to never again fail myself and my friends' belief in me.
I'd like to give my thanks, in this new year, to those who have stood by my side and let this serve me as a reminder that I am not alone.
