The people I've met and the friendships taken for granted during the past few years have gradually given me some of the courage I need to live; to look straight at reality and not be afraid. But once again loneliness engulfs me, leaving me so helpless and vulnerable to the mere basics of being alive.

Everyone has weaknesses, and everyone faces these challenges. But it is so easy for some of us to fail. Especially a weak one like me; whose entire lame excuse for consciousness is driven by poor attempts at logic. I enjoy having some grasp on reality, but when one falls in the middle of it, it's not a pretty sight. And, I've fallen in way over my head.

The addictiveness of these feelings has broken me. As my mind unravels, with my experiences and logic failing to apply, I become a monster of compulsion unable to control personal bias and emotion. My true colors rear its head as an angry and jealous asshole. I am evil without my will and I fear the devil inside. However, I am hopeful that this time I will not lose myself and forget the person that I've always strived to be - to never again fail myself and my friends' belief in me.

I'd like to give my thanks, in this new year, to those who have stood by my side and let this serve me as a reminder that I am not alone.